Nathan's House of XRay Nudity
At the end of the freeway
Phone: 1300-I-Have-20Kg-Watermelon
Open all hours if you have a two-way
http://www.nathb.com

So! This is the secret page! Welcome to our farewell to Alan before he goes away for 4 weeks to Europe on an eating binge, and also a review on some special curry from Nathan's house. When I mean special, it's not special. The picture to the left explains it all pretty much. We were keen for a curry. How come the picture on the box is always so enticing? We ate vodka watermelon. It is harder to make than you think. Also, don't buy 15kg watermelon cos it will all go to waste.

Our final score: 3.1415926535897/10

Did you know that you can make microwaveable food taste just like canned food?! Did you also know that microwaveable butter chicken tastes like a can of Heinz spaghetti with a dash of curry powder?! Awesome I hear you say? WRONG! Again fooled by false advertising, I hope that at least it was 98% fat free... but compared to what? Compared to a stick of butter or something? Cos it was really oily, just look at the special oil glaze on top. I think Alan didn't enjoy it for the fact it was 98% fat free. The brand name is nice, "Enjoyo", it's French for enjoy... but unfortunately I did not Enjoyo my meal. Would I eat one again? If I was hungry. Do I regret eating it? Not really, now I know to stay clear of them. I hope you don't eat the other one Nathan.

Service: 0/10 -I had to cook it myself. And it took 3 minutes, not 2. Sham!
Quality: 1.0/10 -It had flavour which didn't make me vomit, one point.
Atmosphere: 7.0/10 -Nathan has a great TV for showing XRay nudity, but it's no curry house.
Value: 1.0/10 -It was free for me, but Nathan's mum got ripped off. Eat it for the carbs.
Final Score: Who cares?/10

Hotness Rating:

Chow

When you're after a quick meal that combines the atmosphere of traditional Indonesia and Italy with instant TV dinners and itemized rubber bands, this is the midnight curry oasis for you. The service tho rather minimalistic, was friendly and despondent, pointing us to the microwave where we were to prepare our dish with a warm, intoxicated indifference that you could only find at a family run establishment such as this. The true extent of our amazement at witnessing the efficiency in food preparation could only be seen to be believed when our entire dinner was prepared and ready for pre poo processing in under 5 minutes flat. The dish fragrance itself was reminiscent of a time long past, when food was not so much prepared but simply opportunistically scraped off the side of week dead, rotting carcasses and harbored the subtle flavorless texture of concentration camp style gruel. All in all I highly recommend this location for people who are intoxicated to the point that they can’t distinguish the difference between a cute puppy and an on-coming bus, pedophiles and people who watch big brother.

Service: 4.3/32 -Scratched himself a few times.
Quality: 33/1000 -I like fluffy cats.
Atmosphere: 21/2222 -cold & tense, like a mortuary resident.
Value: 3.44/5 -Got what we paid for.
Final Score: FOOD/10

Hotness Rating:

Alan

Just me and Alan who ate curry, so only two of us did the review... this time with potent chili schnapps. Just by the name you know it's not cool. Luckily Alan drew the short straw, but it smelt and tasted quite nice actually but freakin hot!

Have a good trip overseas, and seriously, you must try as much food as possible, especially the local stuff! And the beer!

Alan's Chili Alcohol Hits: 1
Chow's Chili Alcohol Hits: 0

Man I love food, no matter how hot it is.